Dlisted: 01/15/2006 - 01/22/2006

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Angelina Jolie Will Look Like This in 20 Years!



This is Angelina Jolie's mother, French actress Marcheline Bertrand. I see it, mostly in the lips! I wonder if she's a homewrecking whore too?!

Serena Williams and Her Bubble Butt!

Sundance Fuglies



It's about that time for Sundance. Which means that's when huge stars go to get free shit and try to be all indie and shit. Josh Harnett and Scarlett Johansson are in Sundance together. Scarlett and her breasts deserve better.



Ashley Judd escaped the fashion mental hospital in time for all of the events. Looks like she can't seem to get that pesky jacket off.



Lucy Liu's bigger right eye made a splash on the red carpet!

The Brokeback Boys in Italian Vanity Fair





For your viewing pleasure...

What the Hell Kind of GD Outfit is This?!



Oh Lisa Loeb......

You say I only hear what I want to!

I have no idea what that means, but I do know this outfit is fug!

Hot Slut of the Day!



Lauren Collins of Degrassi: The Next Generation

Birthday Sluts



Emma Bunton (30)
Izabella Miko (25)
Cat Power (34)
Geena Davis (50)
Billy Ocean (56)
Jill Eikenberry (59)
Placido Domingo (65)

Friday, January 20, 2006

Starlet Jones Won't Shut Up!



Somebody get some chicken wire and shut that hag up! Star's latest word vomit is about politics. Something that I know nothing about and something that she knows nothing about. She thinks that the whole war on terror is nothing more than clash of egos between President Bush and Osama bin Laden.

She said on yesterday's The View: "You know what? At some point, one of these men has to put it back in his pants and zip up the zipper."

The discussion came from recent Bin Laden tapes that surfaced. She also thinks that Bush and Bin Laden should sit down and discuss things. Like have a cocktail? Ugh, she's a dumb frog!

"I won't trust him, but anything that gives me the opportunity to seek peace, I would at least check it out.

"People make deals with the devil all the time. We make deals with people we don't like,"


I'm so sure like Bush is just gonna call Bin Laden up and be like: "Hey B, what up? Wanna get a 40 lates? Meet me at Scores!"

Bitch needs should spend less time on politics and more time figuring out what card she's gonna play the minute her husband gets caught sucking someone's johnson in a park bathroom!

[The New York Post] [Courtesy of Pamboy]

Another Chanel Dress Mess!





First was the Reese/Kiki scandal and now Chanelgate is taking more victims!

Natalie Portman wore a "vintage" Chanel dress to the Golden Globes this past Monday. Debra Messing wore a similar dress in 2001 to the Annual Glamour Awards. Kiki Dunst also might have a worn another similar dress to Natalie's in Spider Man 2.

I wrote someone at Chanel and they basically said that Kiki's dress is completely different and off the rack. She also said that people end up wearing the same dress, it happens. Debra might have worn the same vintage Chanel in 2001.

God, isn't there like a war going on or something? No, I'm seriously asking that. I have no idea. Just kidding!

Ok, that's it for Chanelgate 2006. I'm over it!

[A Socialite's Life]

Fresh Faced and Beautiful!



I'm totally being sarcastic. JLo has been filming that El Cancrap shit for like ten years now. Production has now moved to Puerto Rico where these pictures were taken. Chick looks tireeeed. Maybe Marc is keeping her up all night by fucking her with his bones. I'm sure sex between them is like watching a squirrel with only hand carefully unshell a nut. Part tension and part empathy.



[JJB]

Brille Notig?



She's all over his stick. Watch this hot foreign commercial. Ugh, there ads are a million times better than ours.

[AdRants]

Afternoon Crumbs

Diddy and Penny get cozy. [Popsugar]

Kristin Cavallari is a fine actress. [Just Jared]

Jada Pinkett Smith looks like a dude. [Crunk and Disorderly]

Johnny Depp needs to be rinsed off. [Hollywood Rag]

Willa Holland is a very bad girl. [IDLYITW]

Just Cos' [Cityrag]

Heather Graham needs a job. [Egotastic!]

Chestica is dumb and dumber. [The People We Love to Hate]

Vintage Jake Gyllenhaal for Your Friday









[Thanks to Youri]

Well, She Does Have a Face Like a Foot!



Maggie Gyllenhaal has landed yet another deal, this time with Reebok. Yeah, because she's so athletic. The former Miu Miu cover girl will follow in the steps of Christina Ricci and Lucy Liu by starring in the I Am What I Am campaign.

Reebok said: "She is a great representative for our brand, which is about promoting individual style."

[Contact Music]

Is It Possible For Your Head to Shrink?



Teri Snatcher's daughter Emerson Rose looks like a giant next to her own mother! Actually ER has a hot outfit on. I'm all for getting skinny, but this is nutso. Her head looks like it's shrinking into her already shriveled up neck. Please tell me George Clooney ain't hitting those bones.

HAS BEENS



You know you're a major HAS-BEEN when you're pitching a reality show to UPN. That's exactly what N'Sync members Lance Bass and Joey Fatone are doing.

The former boy band members are developing a new series about their lives for UPN described as a modern-day "“Odd Couple," said Dawn Ostroff, the network president, Thursday.

Fatone is Oscar, the slob. Bass is Felix.

Tentatively dubbed, "“Out of Sync,"” and planned for this fall, it's a hybrid of reality and comedy, she said.

"They came to us,"she said. "Joey and Lance are such fun, interesting people and they truly are an odd couple even if you sit in a room with them, it's Felix and Oscar in many ways."”

'N Sync ruled the music world at the turn of the decade, until Justin Timberlake'’s departure sent them tumbling into obscurity.


Hey! They aren't quite over! Joey Fatone was on Broadway in Rent. Ok, scratch that. They are over. I hope they stick the reality of reality and show Lance Bass sucking dick. Felix was always the fag.

[Defamer] [Courtesy of Albz]

Janet's Still on Vacation



Some of you might have noticed that I posted some pics just now of Janet Jackson looking all skinny and shit. Well, I found out those pics are old. Here some new ones of Janet taken a few days ago visiting her accupuncturist.

Janet better work fast, she has an album coming out this April. And you know whenever she has an album coming out she loses mucho weight. I'm sure she's getting her brownie and pancakes on before she has to have some fat and ribs removed.

Let's hope those needles has some Fen-Phen in them.











Two Fugs Kissing















[Oh No They Didn't]

Why Do I Have a Crush on JLove?!



Ever since she graced my TV screen on Party of Five, I've always had this crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah she has tits that rivals Scarlett Johansson's, but she's also the biggest nerd of the nerds. She borders annoying and sometimes I just want to punch her in the face and sometimes I just want to hug her for all of eternity. Which brings me to the latest news that makes me sad.

A friend of JLove's said: "She told me that maybe a sexy magazine layout with her showing her assets might give her a little edgier image and she might be considered for a femme fatale role."

According to the source, she has been offered huge offers from Playboy and another men's magazine to show the goods. She's considering the offers to dirt up her image.

I doubt this is true since she's currently finding success on the squeaky clean The Ghost Whisperer on CBS. She's forever a 16yo girl to me so if she bared all, it wouldn't be hot. It would be slightly disturbing, like kiddie porn.

Oh and JLove, you ain't ever gonna get a major movie role again. Unless, a studio feels like losing millions of dollars by making The Tuxedo 2.

[National Ledger]

I'd Wear That Hat Too if She Was Sucking My Dick!



Joel Madden and Hilary Duff are becoming the most annoying couple of 2006.







[JJB]

Biter!



Meg Ryan is apparently adopting a Chinese baby today, because her face will break-up if she gives birth.

Meg has been waiting for months to get approved to buy a baby in China. Months?! Please, you know she just flashed her Black AMEX and they shouted "Hurry up and buy!"

A source said: "The consulate will formalize the adoption and grant Meg's new daughter a visa and a social security number.

"They will probably be flying back to the US immediately after the process is complete."


Meg has a teenage son with Dennis Quaid, but this new baby will probably be her favorite.

I feel sorry for that baby. Waking up to that face after having sweet dreams of lollipops and bunnies is seriously going to give that baby a seizure.

And this pic of Meg with Goldie Hawn is CLASSIC. I should just post this everyday for the rest of my life.

[Contact Music]

Twice the Beauty



Is Angelina Jolie expecting twins? According to sources she is indeed having twins due to fertility treatments she underwent in order to get pregnant.

A source said: "Angelina is overjoyed. Getting pregnant with one of Brad's children would have been God's precious gift to her.

"Now we believe she is carrying twins. Angie is in seventh heaven."


Oh damn, how many kids do these bitches need?! They are collecting kids the way I collect my boogers and store them in a special place. Just kidding! I don't store them in a special place. All I can say is they better not dine at any restaurant I'm dining at, because I don't need to hear 4 babies screaming at the top of their lungs while I'm trying to enjoy my juicy T-Bone.

I hope she gets really fat.

[Monsters and Critics] [Thanks to JenB]

Imagine Those Titties, Swinging?



Drew Barrymore's boyfriend and Strokes member Fabrizio Moretti was asked where was the strangest place he's ever gotten down.

He responded: "I had sex in the bathroom at the opera a little while ago, in New York. We went to 'La Boheme' and it was wicked boring. So we decided to go to the bathroom, and we got caught, and it was embarrassing. If we'd gone to the men's room, people would've heard it and said, 'Good on you, man.' But we were in the ladies' room, and when we heard an old woman start to tinkle, we couldn't help but crack up. I guess she told the security guy - he came in and was, like, 'Just go.' "

They got caught, because her breasts were totally swinging a mile away and probably kicked the stall door open. Ouch. Those are weapons of MASS destruction.

[Page Six]

Don't Give In Brit



KFed has big plans with Britney Spears' money. Not only is he currently recording an album that will most likely make the Spice Girls look like musical geniuses, but he also plans to put wifey's money to fund more of his useless projects. He wants to open up a nightclub of his very own. KFed thinks Vegas is the place.

A source said: "The last place Britney wants Kevin to be spending his nights is in a nightclub, even if he's the owner. But he thinks it will be a gold mine and that he'll make millions."

Britney would be an idiot to give up her dough for his retarded projects. But she is kind of a pushover, so she could give in. Could you imagine this club? It would be nothing but neon and stripper poles. But at least you could get chicken wings anytime of the night.

[Female First]

Page Six Blind Items..You Guess...I Guess..

WHICH foreign-born action star has a sexual split personality? The actor recently visited a bar in L.A., ordered a drink and told the bartender, "Tonight, you see me like a tiger." Many drinks later, he was seen making out with another man. Many, many drinks after that, he was caught indulging in a lewd act in the men's room

Jet Li

WHICH art gallerist's relationship with his girlfriend took a nose dive when she caught him watching gay porn?

I don't know art!

WHICH prefab pop cutie has a bad habit of getting drunk and blurting out that she once had an abortion?

JoJo

Pam Anderson and Her Thong



Here's Pamela Anderson rocking her thong while she picks up the kiddies from school. Ugh, I don't want to see that shit this morning. Not that's it's disgusting, it's just...crusty. Her face needs some pullin'



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